TheShadyNasty

You say yes, I say no
You say stop and I say go, go, go
Oh, no
You say goodbye and I say herro
Herro, herro
I don’t know why you say goodbye 
I say herro
Herro, herro
I don’t know why you say goodbye
I say herro

I say high, you say low
You say why, and I say I don’t know
Oh, no
You say goodbye and I say herro
Herro, herro
I don’t know why you say goodbye
I say herro
Herro, herro
I don’t know why you say goodbye
I say herro

Why, why, why, why, why, why
Do you say good bye
Goodbye, bye, bye, bye, bye

Oh, no
You say goodbye and I say herro
Herro, herro
I don’t know why you say goodbye
I say herro
Herro, herro
I don’t know why you say goodbye
I say herro
herro, herro
I don’t know why you say goodbye I say herro
Herro

Herra, heba herroa
Herra, heba herroa

I don’t remember much, only bits of conversation.

“This is a serious problem. You’re 160 pounds and obese.  I’m putting you on a strict diet until you lose 40 pounds.”

She scratched some calculations with a pencil, calorie-counting, and decided I had two weeks to lose the extra bulge. 

“Two weeks?! How is that even humanly possible?”

I don’t remember if I looked physically bigger, but there I was, 160 pounds.  Definitely bonus-sized.  Horror.

I remember being peeved at E.M.A. for not telling me that I was clearly looking significantly chunkier.  I mean, with my frame, it was like I had turned into a Costco-sized version of myself. Gargantuan and fleshy.

Too bad I don’t remember if I had rolls.

Number of items I forgot/lost last week: 4
Number of meltdowns over above: 2.5

The beginning of my week of mishaps started with forgetting my credit card after paying for dinner with it. Brilliant, I know. Since my memory is like a black hole, I couldn’t remember what I had done with the card after I paid. I assumed it was in my wallet, but since it wasn’t there, I called and canceled the card. Of course, when I called the restaurant the next day to check, they had my card.

…

Then, I bought a dessert to give to E.M.A. and completely forgot to take it out of the fridge after work. Who knows why that instigated a little crying binge, but it did. It wasn’t a full-blown meltdown, hence the 0.5. Still, who starts crying over forgotten dessert?!

Continuing, since it gets even better… So, we go to Cancun to get some food, and E.M.A. gets me an horchata. Totally out of it, I forgot the horchata at the table and didn’t realize it until we got back. Proceeded to completely lose it and started to cry because I forgot the horchata. Who knew that horchata could be so dangerous? We’re talking about an horchata-induced meltdown, complete with lots of drippage and waterworks. Definitely attractive. Because I forgot the horchata.

Do I need to point out how ridiculous I am? Actually, I’m cringing while I write this because it’s embarrassing how completely ludicrous I sound. Blame hormones, but it’s also the accumulation of stress from studying for a test that still doesn’t make sense to me, feeling pressure to not be a failure, work/office politics, and a general feeling of stagnancy and frustration. Hormones are indubitably evil. They amplify everything you’re feeling and make it seem like yes, forgetting an horchata is the end of the world.

Sometimes, it sucks being a girl.

in honor of a certain giantress, we have created a communal blog detailing the mundane and general ramblings of our trio.

click and be merry!